Using Communication Temptations to Support Your Child’s Language Development

A Neuro-Affirming Perspective

Written by: Courtney Kaylor-Bates & Caitlin Burke

A common strategy used by speech-language pathologists to support communication is the use of communication temptations. Communication temptations involve setting up situations where a child is motivated to initiate communication.

For example, you might place a child's favorite toy just out of reach, pause during a game of peek-a-boo, or do something silly and unexpected. These little “temptations” give the child an opportunity to initiate and take the lead in communication.

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It is important to recognize that the way you use communication temptations can result in one of two outcomes --- frustration & avoidance or connection & joy.

Imagine the Following Scenario:

A parent places a bubble wand on the counter to set up a communication temptation. The child goes to the counter and attempts to get the bubble wand, but realizes they need help. The child approaches their parent and leads them to the counter. The child initiates communication by vocalizing, reaching, and looking between their parent and the bubble wand. The parent takes the opportunity to try to teach their child how to say "bubbles." They tell their child, "say bubbles," but the child keeps vocalizing, reaching, and looking between their parent and the bubble wand. The parent continues to try to encourage their child to say bubbles, but now the child is frustrated and crying on the floor. The parent feels discouraged.

What happened here? The parent's intention was to use a communication temptation to help their child learn to express themselves using words. However, in this scenario, the child did clearly express what they wanted using what we call multimodal communication. The child vocalized because they don't yet have the motor ability to say "bubbles" yet. They used gestures and eye gaze to help the parent understand that they wanted the bubble wand. They initiated communication. When the child realized that they could not do what the parent was asking them, they became frustrated and gave up.

What Can We Do Instead?

• Recognize, acknowledge, and validate your child's multimodal communication when presenting communication temptations.

• Model other forms of communication for your child, such as words or signs.

• Reduce the pressure for your child to imitate your words or signs and recognize when something is too hard.

• Maintain the positive interaction with your child so that they are motivated to continue to initiate communication.

Let's Reimagine the Previous Scenario:

A parent places their child's bubble wand on the counter to set up a communication temptation. The child goes to the counter and attempts to get it, but realizes they need help. The child approaches their parent and leads them to the counter. The child vocalizes, reaches, and looks between their parent and the bubble wand. The parent validates their child's multimodal communication by saying, "You want your bubbles!" The parent models the word "bubbles" again in an exaggerated manner. The parent pauses to see if the child will attempt to say bubbles. The child smiles and vocalizes. The parent begins blowing bubbles and they enjoy blowing bubbles together.

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More Ideas for Using Communication Temptations Throughout the Day:

Bath Time: 

• Do something silly and unexpected, like telling your child to get in the bathtub when you "forgot" to run the water first. Wait for your child to notice your mistake and model "uh-oh!"

• Place a new, interesting item into the bathtub, such as a squirt toy or turkey baster. Wait for your child to notice the new item and draw your attention to the item with a point, vocalization, or word.

• Store bath toys in a clear, hard to open container or somewhere out of reach. Wait for your child to communicate that they are ready to play.

Play Time:

• Do something silly and unexpected, such as putting a baby doll's diaper on her head. Wait for your child to notice and draw attention to your mistake. You can model words like "that's silly" or "uh-oh!"

• If your child enjoys tickles, insert a pause into the phrase "here comes --- tickle fingers!" Pair the phrase "tickle fingers" with the gesture for tickling. See if your child will make the tickle fingers gesture during your next pause.

• Introduce toys that are hard to operate and wait for your child to ask for help.

Mealtime:

• Do something silly and unexpected, like giving your child an empty cup. Wait for them to notice and correct your mistake.

• Allow your child to help prepare a meal or snack. Ask them to stir, but "forget" to give them a spoon.

• Provide a small portion of a food and wait for your child to ask for more.

Remember, it’s all about making communication fun, natural, and meaningful for your child — without adding pressure!